people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
