dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
