Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
