Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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