I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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