Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
