this beer tastes like vomit already
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
