My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
