Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
