his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
