We're facebook friends in real life
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
