That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
