based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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