And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
