i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
