you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
