I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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