Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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