i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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