Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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