if i died would you start the facebook group?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
