Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
