I love black thongs
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
