I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
