Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
