We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
