This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
