I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
