1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
