i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
