Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
