i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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