there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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