I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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