The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
