using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
