Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
