He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
