Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i've created a new STD.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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