We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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