have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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