remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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