C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
