I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
