was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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