I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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