Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
