I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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