One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My ass is underappreciated
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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