just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
