If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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