this boner is exhausting
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
